I asked Steven if he could “title” our first year of medical school together what would it be? Lo and behold he came up with “trail and error.” As we reminisced over that first year we laughed at all the missteps we took together but ultimately they led us here. I wanted to share a few of those missteps & hopefully we can save you some time!

Date Nights

We have covered that medical school takes up a good chunk of time, however there is always time to have a little date night now and again. When it comes to planning dates be mindful of the medical calendar; planning a date night a week or even two weeks away from a test is not going to go over well. Plan one after the test so that way your other half can be in a more relaxed state. I also suggest doing something other than just dinner for the first year.

In year one your med student is still trying to find their footing when it comes to classes, studying, taking tests, etc… The stress can mount up before the test and continue to flow over even after . Take it from me; they will go over every question in their head after the test trying to calculate their score; so get out of the house & go do something. We found doing dates like escape rooms, rock climbing, arcade games, fishing, and movies were the best.

p.s put away the phones, like seriously leave them in car or put them on silent.

Test Weeks

Expectations can be a tricky thing when it comes to dating a doc. Your relationship before medical school is going to look & feel very different than it does now. Understanding what expectations you have of your partner is crucial in understanding how they are going to need to shift when it comes to test weeks, clinical’s in third year, and even away rotations in fourth year.

I’ll be honest my expectations for a partner is extremely high, and before you go feeling bad for Steven, he knew what he was getting into 😉 But I quickly realized during test weeks my expectations needed to shift. Now they didn’t go from a 10 to a 0 like the medical blogs will tell you its okay to go to… I knew that he wasn’t going to be able to show up to dinner every night, or doing things like keeping up on laundry or cleaning the room was going to fall onto me.

After about 40 to 50 spats we figured out that we needed to walk through what each of would need for those upcoming weeks. What needs needed to be met and how we could support one another. Being in third year now, the transition of expectations are seamless as we fall in and out of shelf exams & different clinical rotations. So trust me it will seem super hard in the beginning, but if you work together you will get through it. 🙂

The one piece of advice I would give is make yourself busy during those two weeks of study time. Set up dinner dates with your girls, go on trips, put in a little OT at work if you can. It makes the days go by much quicker and you will feel more fulfilled in your relationship.

Enjoy the little moments together and make time for your relationship!

xo, Han